Billy is Pissed!

Yesterday was my turn in the barrel, so to speak, because Regina gets her hair and nails done every other Tuesday. I told Billy I was cleared to take him to therapy because of The Ex Club got canceled due to perceived weather.

I got the Hummer out to get through an inch and a half of slush and went to the post office where my mail was delivered on time. You see the US Postal Service can't afford to listen to the weather prognosticators with their First Alert PinPoint Doppler Radar. So the mail arrived at the Post Office before 8 AM. By the way, my morning friend never did make it to my house..they must listen to their own weather reports.

In the old days we only had plain old radar and weather maps on a chalk board and Conrad Johnson. Its been said that ever since Conrad Johnson died we have not had good weather. (For you younger bloggees, Conrad was the weatherman on Channel 2 for many years until he died from lung cancer...I suspect Raleigh's.) Billy's favorite weather person is Dominica Davis from Fox News. I like Janice Dean the weather machine.

The weather gurus had predicted freezing rain and told everyone to stay at home. Well that message put my sleepy village of Amana into a deep coma. I went to the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker and they were all closed. I couldn't buy a wienie...I couldn't buy a bun for my wienie or a candle in case the power went out. I went to the Woolen Mill...closed..... how would I keep warm without a blanket. I decided to get a haircut.....closed. Maybe I can get my dental check up....closed. All the restaurants.....closed. All this because of a little slush which by late morning had turned to rain. The bank next door to my office had a sign posted which said, "Closed Due to Weather" ( Who braved the weather to put the sign up? And if you got there to place the sign...why not stay there and make change for a 10 spot).

My bank, US Bank-Amana Branch was open...so I could get some cash and go to the Casey General HandiStore and buy gas........but I had no destinations to go to. The attorney office was open...in case you slipped in the slush....you could sue someone. Tim Meyer Financial was open...so you could buy an accident policy in case you got hurt when you slipped in the slush. Amana Insurance Agency was open so you could buy a liability insurance policy in case someone sued you because you slipped in the slush.

Anyway...Billy didn't make it to therapy. He loves therapy...because it gets him out of the lung for awhile and he thinks the 30 something therapist is hot. Instead he stayed home reading a comic book. Did I say...Billy is Pissed?