Billy's Godfather

The Godfather does his shtick. This time standing up.

Actually the Puzzler said "what about me?" and I said its a slow news day , so you're up.

Zins...Cedar Rapids' Newest

There is a new restaurant in Cedar Rapids that we decided to visit. We are always looking for restaurants which are 'Billy friendly'. Zins seems to hit the mark. Valet Parking and no stairs or curbs to negotiate. We can pull the Hummer up to the front door, where one of the two valets will be happy to unload Billy and push him through the double doors. Where they park the Hummer will be easier than where to park the lung though. We predict it will be an unassuming spot in the corner near an electrical outlet or next to the maitre de station.

This was my second visit in as many days....maybe its the signature sausage thats served up with the drinks. Catherine was our barkeep for the evening and she was eager to keep us fortified with whatever potion was prescribed. I wonder if she knows about "Funnys"?

I asked Jimbo to join me there so we could catch up on things present and past. Jimbo is not his real name, its his entertainer name he uses when he is on stage. His birth certificate would have something like" James" listed. Jimbo is a techy guy and also known by the nickname of "Stuff" because he has so much stuff. We like to outdo each other in that arena. When we first sat down he hauls out his new LG Cell phone with 3 lines and numerous bells and whistles and lights and sirens and I sleekly pull out my new BlackBerry 8830 World Edition and trumped him. Nuff Said.

Its always more fun to talk about the past....because nothing beats the "good old days"...he reminisced about the days when he used to "hobble" and of hanging out in the neighborhood of Jeffrey Dahmer. From memory he took a cocktail napkin and drew a map that zeroed in on the Dahmer residence faster than Garmin StreetSmart could ever do. He told of dining with the infamous character,
but thats another story and Jeffrey is not around to corroborate.

As if they had some sixth sense, Billy's Godparents show up with their personal assistant Sylvia. The Puzzler continues to work his magic. It seems that they were at the nearby Museum of Art and just happened to stumble through the front doors.

Sylvia is a way trendy lady with manicured nails and designer eyewear. She is on the cutting edge of everything trendy and that is probably the reason she jet-setted to Vins. It is there that she is able to drink three glasses of wine at the same time without looking conspicuous.


Sylvia, is not to be confused with the Pasadena Sylvia in an earlier post. She is local. Since learning of Billy's plight she has taken on the challenge of protecting Billy from 'Lung to Grave' as she so eloquently states. She is the one who would insist that Billy have a blanket for warmth and modesty reasons. She is the one who would cover him with Life Insurance. She is the one who would manage his Social Security proceeds and the list goes on. It was Sylvia who thought Billy ought to have his designer puppy, Snatches.

Zins is not just all about libations. They pride themselves with offering an eclectic menu suitable for any palate. Sylvia chose the macaroni and cheese dish which was delightful. I t goes well with the Pinot Noirs that were paired for that entree. I was hoping for a toasted cheese sandwich or the like but having over-tipped the barkeep, I was out of dough, and went home hungry.

As I was departing, local celebrity Bruce Aune stopped by to quiz the Puzzler........... Could Jodi Huisentruit be far behind?

My 15 Seconds of Fame

Gormo is also a movie maker. I was an extra in one of his films. I made it to the trailer. Billy can lie there and watch it over and over again. Perhaps you can, too.

The Landlady

Billy's landlady is Dixie. Dixie has a few obsessions. One is collecting things like depression glass. Another is the expanding of her indoor rain forest. It is rumored that she is planning a room addition, just for them. She is also a voracious mushroom hunter (in season). And she make frequent trips to Kent Park for no apparent reason (in all seasons).

We went over to visit with Wally and Dixie last evening for two reasons. One was to negotiate for a lower floor apartment and, of course, the other was because it was martini night. I'm not sure which was more fruitful.

When I brought up the subject of how nice it would be for Billy to be on the main floor, she feigned any knowledge of Billy's plight. In fact she said, "Who is Billy?"

Like I have said before, "You can't make this stuff up"

Hans & Yvonne search for Floyd of Rosedale

Yesterday we were invited to the home of Billy's godparents, Tom & Carol. Tom continues to puzzle Billy and Carol tutors Billy whenever she can and assists him with his double negatives. Tom and Carol live in a spacious English Tudor replete with a jungle room that has a giraffe peering over the balcony. In the back yard is a train set that brings a tear to Billy's eye every time he comes to visit. Also in the back yard is a bigger than life statue of Herky. Herky is the mascot of the Iowa Buckeyes. Just your typical home in suburban Cedar Rapids.

Tom & Carol went to the Buckeye game to see if Floyd would come home. Sharing the ride was Tommy & Diane. They are both retired. Tommy was a partner in a alphabet advertising agency. His firm designed the Tiger Hawk which is the symbol of the Buckeyes ( You would think an acorn would have more fitting) and every time an embossed article of clothing or cup or poster is sold....he receives a royalty. Tom has purchased a plantation in southern Florida from the residuals. Diane is retired from the CIA and that is all I'm allowed to say.

Two more Buckeye fans are Hans and Yvonne. They traveled all the way from Sweden for the event.


Hans is Billy's hero. You see Billy would like to be in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first person to ever Pole Vault in an iron lung. Hans is an engineer and a former Olympic Champion Pole Vaulter, but has not been able to come up with a plan for this feat. Yvonne has known Hans for about six years after a coincidental reunion at a sporting event. She does heart transplants when she is back in Sweden. In her spare time, she knits wool mittens.

We all gathered around the island in the kitchen, making a concentrated effort to drain every last ounce of booze from the the household. A monumental task considering Tom's stock. A vodka purchased in Italy, by the name of Viking, was particularly appreciated for its smoothness. Hans, a man of slight build, was consuming copious amounts of Wild Turkey and eggnog, while Yvonne did her best to keep the vineyards of Australia in business. We actually would have succeeded had we not ran out of ice.

At a time certain, the Godfather did one of his acrobatic tricks from which he recovered quicker than you can say "cryptoquote" and it wasn't long after, that that Audrey was designated to tuck him in for the night.

It was then that we learned that Hans or 'Hasse' as Yvonne calls him, sometimes has to vie for here attention in competition with Dante. Dante is Yvonne's black lab. Billy wanted her to know about his designer dog, Snatches. We tried to explain how she got her name....but somehow it got lost in the translation. Probably just as well as the ice was gone, the host was asleep and the rest of the party was wishing they were in dreamland as well.