When Billy met Sylvia

Its been awhile since I reported on Billy.

Lots of you out there in CyberLand and IRL are inquiring and now I find that I simply must take the time to report in before you all get too aggressive with me.

The very good news, at least for now, is that Billy no longer is captive in that iron lung.  We don't know how long this will last but we do know that for now the treatment is working.  He presently takes a very expensive drug daily commonly known as the K432M protocol and has to do an injection in his butt once a month.
  Billy was eligible for Obamacare aka ACA due to his lack of income and of course is issued to him at no cost to him.  He was hoping he would have been a poster child for the Affordable Care Act and had dreams of going to the White House for photo op with the President...but so far no incoming phone calls from them on his government subsidized cell phone of which he currently has five of them.   Don't even get me started on SNAP.  But bottom line Billy is once again fairly close to normal.

He recently met a girl several years older than him.  Her name is Sylvia.

  A fine German girl he met by chance.

 Of course with a name like Von Crippe, you can assume that Billy does know some rudimentary German.  He learned German in  the family home from his Dad, Otto and his Uncle Rudy.  His mom,Priscilla, not being from Amana really never spoke much German.  Well she knew a few words that she thought were cute.  Like ...fotze and kommen sie her mitt die hosea in der hand.   But you are not going to get to far in Germany with a few words or phrases.

Billy  tries to communicate with her in German and that is endearing to her.  However his vocabulary is limited and they mostly speak English.  She very recently went back to  her home town  in Germany to reinforce her language skills and to organize a birthday party for her father,  He misses her daily attention to him!

As you can see from the photos that Billy shared with me, she is a striking woman.  Billy says she is very nurturing to him and was helpful in getting him out of the lung and being erect again.  (whatever that means)

She has been teaching him some Yoga poses which he finds difficult at best since he still has balance issues.  She insists that practice is key to his total rehab.  I think they will be good for each other.

Practice, practice, practice

Hopper 70 and the Fall Out the next day.....

The Hopper was turning 70 on September 19th and he decided to throw a party for himself and 70 of his closest friends.  The event was at Elmcrust where he has a membership.

We decided to take the Phaeton as it will pass anything but a gas station, but with a full tank we made it there in time to spare before the cocktail hour expired.  Billy was in the back seat playing with all the controls available to him.  He particularly like the air conditioned and massaging seats of the Phaeton 4 place  LWB Sedan.  He had the seat fully reclined and was hooked up to his portable respirator.

He was so comfortable we kept him in the car while we went inside to partake of the event.

As we were approaching the country club we were listening to babbling  Bob Bruce and they broke in to his show with a weather alert advised the potential for 60 mph winds.  I queried the mystery lady about the safety of our deck umbrella in the event the wind should develop.  She confirmed what I was afraid of, that the umbrella was standing tall.  I had visions of another broken umbrella when we would come home.

After some libations and  and other nourishment we decided to head home and did not even inquire about the umbrella.  You see, by the time we got Billy all tucked in at his two story walk up we were tuckered and ready to turn in ourselves.

However, when the sun arose the next morning the damage was evident.  Not only did the umbrella and table crash but in so doing, knocked away a section of  the rail to the deck. Okay some more property damage to repair and replace at least there was no bodily injury.  That morning I up-righted the table and disposed of the umbrella and it was off to work as usual.

I came home to grill something for lunch and absent-mindedly  braced myself on the rail which was dangling  by a thread. Immediately I knew that was a mistake as I started my dissent to the cold hard pavers below.

I picked myself up and worked my way to the downstairs bathroom where I took off all my clothes and jumped in the shower to clean the wounds,  I  was bleeding from the right forehead, left knee and left middle finger.  That didn't go so well and after gazing in the mirror discovered that a bandaid was not going to do the job.  I put on a few articles of clothing and drove my self to the doctor.  A team of gawkers examined me in the emergency room at the clinic and very quickly decided I need an ambulance ride to the ER.

After the EMTs had me loaded in the ambulance I convinced them to stop by my house so I could have my smartphone or you all wouldn't have all these pictures to look at.

Twelve stitches to the head and five in my knee, a CT scan of my head (which found nothing) and and X ray of my knee and we were heading home about six hours later.


I spoke with The Hopper (before my fall) and asked him about attendance numbers for his party. He was shooting for 70 to match his age.......he told me that the actual count was 69....little did he know it was actually 70 after all as Billy was there in the parking lot participating through his smart phone and taking it all in.

Marianne Schoenholzer

Before Otto von Crippe worked at the Schlitz factory in Milwaukee he was in the service....US Army and spent some time in Germany.   There he met the lady of his dreams, Marianne Schoenholzer.  You see Marianne worked for the military and provided housing for officers abroad,  It was when Otto was reassigned and needed housing when they first met.  You could say it was love at first sight....well at least for Otto.

Marriane wanted nothing to do with him. She had heard from  others in the commissary that Otto had a girlfriend back home in Wisconsin. Nuff said.

But Otto persisted and after two years, with the girlfriend dismissed, Marianne and he were dating. Otto being the consummate romantic, insisted they get married.  It was a grand wedding.  Otto spent his entire savings on the wedding.  Okay in this day and age there are fancier weddings, but forty years ago this was a dandy.

Otto & Marianne Wedding

But alas all good things must come to an end.  After only 10 months of marriage, Otto and Marianne decided it was best they go there own ways.  Otto got into the beer business after his discharge and Marianne stayed with the military until just last year when she moved to Florida with her black BMW 5 Series which she keeps spotless.

 Since Marianne is Billy's step mom (its the Boy she never had) both she and I are on Billy's Facebook page and when she saw that I also had a property in Florida  she contacted me via a Facebook  message and we found out we were virtual neighbors.  With the help of my GPS, I found out she was just a short drive from where I live.  Small world !

Marianne at Work

Being a good German girl, Marianne proposed that I stop by for breakfast.  Breakfast is my favorite meal so I took her up on her offer.  Marianne's  kitchen is big enough to feed an army.  She had eggs, bratwurst, shinken, weinerschnitzel, kuchen, katofel und saft. For a short instance, I thought I was teleported to one  of the colony restaurants back home.  She even provided the morning paper.  Thanks Marianne, and I will relay the message to  Billy.  I'm sure he will be excited to know.

Marianne's Kitchen

Marianne Cooking

The Sessions

Wow ...its almost been six months since I reported on Billy.  Not because I have such a busy schedule, but mostly because Billy has been secretive about what he has been doing. More about that later,

About two months ago Billy asked me to take him to a movie.  This, in and of itself, is a bit of an undertaking, especially during the cold winter months.  There is so much more to transporting the iron lung and keeping Billy warm in the process.

Billy had heard about this movie from Bob Arnold who apparently had seen it and highly recommended it. You see the movie is about a kid living in an iron lung who wants to lose his virginity.  Click HERE for a link to the movie. Helen Hunt is the professional sex surrogate.

Well I loaded up Billy in my new crossover SUV and we were off to Cedar Rapids to see the movie.   I guess it would be prudent of me to read the theatre listings more carefully as there was only one showing on this particular day and we missed it.

Now what......going shopping was out of the question.  The library is still under construction and the roller skating rink just depresses him.

Billy said he would like to go to a strip club.  I was a little shocked at his request but considering the subject matter of the movie, I guess it was a good alternative.  I called his mom to seek permission and his aunt Regina answered the phone.  She gave us the "go ahead" in a New York second and we were off to a Gentleman's Club to satisfy my friend Billy.  (Actually I didn't mind the assignment either).

I didn't want to take him to a totally nude so called "Juice Bar" because I thought we should ease into this, being it was his first time and all.....so we chose the topless bar in town which shall remain nameless.

Lo and behold it was "Kid's Day" at the club so we fit in quite well.  Of course you still needed to be of legal age to drink alcoholic beverages, but we weren't there for the drinks if you are picking up what I'm putting down.

Immediately Billy was smitten by this spinner named Rachael.  She appeared to be of Hispanic descent , but the jury is still out on that.  If she removes her 5 " stiletto heels , she might stand all of five foot......but we never saw her with her shoes off.

To say that she is a charmer would be an understatement.  She charmed the socks off of me and I was just the messenger.  Like I say, Billy is smitten.  Every time I go to visit him , he asks when can I take him back to that club so that he can see Rachael again.........Like I said, its not such a bad assignment, so sometime in 2013, I foresee a roadtrip in Billy's future. Stand by for the follow up report.

Sometimes you have to wonder how Billy's life would have changed had we gone
to the movie instead.  Or Not!

RAGBRAI 2012 Titos Style

Its RAGBRAI time again in Iowa.  It always occurs the third week of July.  This year marks the 40th anniversary of the event and it seems like it gets better every year. If you don't know what RAGBRAI is all about, CLICK HERE.

Billy particularly likes the ride.  He enjoys meeting people along the way.  Pulling him along in the iron lung is no simple task.  First of all he becomes a very heavy load on the uphill portions of the ride.  Anyone who does RAGBRAI will attest that Iowa is not flat.  The other logistics nightmare is keeping Billy cool.  With temps of over 100F this would be a challenge.  We are talking power packs, misters, and lots of batteries.  Consequently, we had to scratch Billy from the ride after we saw the forecast from a Conrad Johnson talkalike.  Probably was a good thing, because if we were doing the ride, we might not have bumped into the Tito's Girls.

The Tito's Girls transcended upon Parlor City Pub with cases of Tito's Handmade Vodka and they were passing it out like so much candy to babies.  This contingent of babes came out from Chicago to promote their spirits and promote they did. Billy immediately fell in love with Barbara, the Las Vegas Realtor by day and Bartender when called upon. (Billy wanted to be Facebook friends, but since Barbara has over 5000 friends already he has subscribed to her public status updates instead.)  After going through many bottles of the Handmade Loudmouth Soup, we were invited into the vintage Airstream trailer they use for their promotions. Eric, Tasha and Rosie were formidable hosts as they continued the hospitality.  Billy picked up a visor which he now wears constantly.

I wonder if Billy's landlord, Wally has a visor.  Wally is a big Tito's fan and has several cases tucked away, but alas, Wally quit drinking Vodka about 8 months ago.  I wonder what he is planning on doing with his stockpile?  I guess time will tell.  

Billy sometimes asks me about the good old days.  He loves to hear my stories.  The other day, while we were discussing the price of a cup of coffee I reminisced about when I was part of the good old boys network in Amana.  Pretty much every day except for Sunday, we would meet at the Colony Inn before our work day started.  Sort of an early FaceBook concept.  Of course Al Gore had not yet invented the internet so this was Face to Face networking.

On any given day you would see the likes of Paul Oehl, Art Baumgartel, Ramon Goerler, Bill Hess, Jake Roemig ,Paul Hursh,  Leonard Kloubec and me.  ( Click HERE for more info on Kloubec)   Of course there were others...some of them sporadic attendees and others who I have forgotten their name.

Walt Schuerer was the proprietor of the inn and dispensed the coffee to us.  Jake Roemig* was the owner of the building and that title gave him priority seating at the  head table.  He would shake his cane at anyone who  sat in his reserved seat announcing that "he owned the joint" and "so and so better find another place to sit".  It was always a hoot when one of the regulars brought someone new to the table and urged him to sit in that empty chair.  We looked forward to Jake coming in  to roust him from his perch.  Another benefit of being the building owner was that he received complimentary coffee for life.  However on the 3rd of every month, Jake would reach into his wallet and remove enough cash to pick up the tab.  You see , it was the third of the month....the day his Social Security check would arrive at the post office.   Since we were all working stiffs, he figured we were supplying his "paycheck" and thus lavishly rewarded us once each month.

Coffee was 25 cents per cup with unlimited refills.  Everyone, but Bill Hess would participate in a gambling game which had the loser pick up the tab for all the coffee.  Even if the place was packed with 10 guys the bill was only 2.50.....but Bill Hess chose to pay for his coffee with a shiny quarter prior to being seated.  This prepay maneuver  kept him safe from "the Flip".

Of all the names mentioned, only two remain....Walt Schuerer and me....Walt is 91 and doesn't move too fast any more......come to think about it......I don't move so fast anymore either.




* JACOB ROEMIG was born on 16 Jun 1893 in AMANA, IOWA. He died on 29 Aug 1975 in AMANA, IOWA

Billy Wants a Tat

I stopped in to visit with Billy as I usually do at least once a week. Billy calls me Uncle Bruce. Maybe he calls me that because I am a frequent visitor to his two story walk up apartment or maybe its because I was serious with his aunt Regina for awhile a few years back....at any rate I don't mind being referred to as Uncle Bruce.

Coincidentally, his Aunt Regina still shares their small apartment with Billy's mom and dad. My heart

flutters a little when I catch a glimpse of her.

Aunt Regina has a "tramp stamp" and now Billy wants a tat too....as in also.

If any readers aren't familiar with "Tramp Stamps".. Click HERERegina"s tramp stamp is in the shape of handlebars.

Billy wants the logo for the Cincinnati Bengals for his

tat. You see the Bengals Logo is the letter "B" for Billy and it is done in his favorite colors...orange and black.

The only one he knows with a link to Cincinnati is Bruce Hop. He calls him Uncle Bruce Number Two. So he has asked the Hopper to help him get the artwork for his tat.

Stay tuned.

George Hits the 9- 0 mark

We went to a birthday party tonight. One of the breakfast club members turned ninety this past Thursday. George rode his bicycle to his birthday party because he could. This evening, at the Ronneburg Restaurant his family had an open house replete with Millstream Beer and a Buffet for several hundred of his closest friends and a couple of freeloaders.

George has great genes and he works at staying fit. It is not unusual for him to play 36 holes of golf on any given day....I here he uses a cart. That is not to say that he is adverse to walking as he often walk five miles in the morning before deciding to do some bicycling later in the day.

There was a Kanye West Moment (For and explanation Click HERE) when Dr. Ruff brought along the oldest man in the Amanas besting good ole George by 3 Years. Dr Ruff, who will be

90 in a few months and Harry Leonhardt (93) sang a duet to George in German...not sure what it was all about,

but the English translation would not be fitting for Billy's ears.

There was plenty of kissing and photography along with some tunes from Amana's own Silver Wings.

People came from far and wide in various forms of transportation. The range was from a smartcar to a private jet. I came in a smartcar.

Billboard Bruce

Not too long ago, I decided to shake things up a bit. Billy says I ought to have my name in lights. Billy like the fact that I am on his side when it comes to keeping him alive. Needless to say, I am his hero. I am his favorite insurance guy.

So Billy suggested I do something to make a statement. We represent Allied , a Nationwide Company and they are known for their "on Your Side" tagline. You may have seen their employees on television explaining how they were on your side.

I thought it would be fun to be on my side. My first concept idea was to have me laying on the office floor with a tipped over chair at my side. Billy saw it a little different and suggested I do the Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan pose. Well since I am the cosmopolitan type, it was a natural...well as natural as you can be with clothes on.

Well here, submitted for your approval or disapproval...hey I can take it.....is the board. The billboard can be sighted on Highway 151 near Fairfax Iowa.

All you locals get used to it because I signed a year contract. After the year is up, I get the artwork. Billy thinks if should go somewhere cool. Any ideas?

Oktoberfest 2009

Billy's beloved Buckeyes were playing in Iowa city last Saturday and Billy really wanted to go. He also read in the paper( with the help of two mirrors) that the Buckeyes were favored and it would be a cake walk. Billy also likes the Amana Oktoberfest. Since I was going to be his keeper and I remember the last time I schlept him up 77 steps, and in view of the weather report, I talked him into the Oktoberfest option. We towed the lung behind the Smartcar ( he loves that stuff) but He was the first to admit it was a little chilly going around the Lily Lake.

Billy likes to catch up with the Lemon Sisters and generally likes the UMP UMP music that envelopes the town. He likes to watch the Eisenmann contest and he wishes he could compete. Of course, everyone likes a parade and Billy is no exception to this either.

"Aunt" Audrey was going to do a stint at bar tending at the Ronneburg after the parade and he was excited to see that. He is easily excited.

Right after the parade we caught up with Audrey and watched her work her magic. It is said you meet the nicest people at places like the Cadillac dealership, Walmart and bars. This couldn't have been more correct as we were introduced to Libby and Wayne and there friends Connie and Craig. Billy took a shining to Libby immediately.... Maybe it was the accessories or here hat which was very alluring. Or maybe it was the underwear....only Billy knows because there are some things he just doesn't open up about.

His landlady stayed for awhile and then she had to go to the park on another mission and that left us in the custody of his buddy Wally.

It was Wally who suggested we have shots of Ashbach and the able bar tenders were eager to oblige.

After the shots it was off to the Eisenmann contest and we were also treated to a great ventroloquist act. I swear I could not see his lips move one iota.