Billy's Aunt, Regina

Billy's aunt Regina is how I got to know Billy in the first place. I think the first time I saw her was at the Moosemobile at an Iowa Hawkeye game, tailgating before the football game. The Moosemobile is a retired Ford breadtruck of the 50's and is finished in an aluminum effect and it actually has Moose ears. Its owned by Randy of Moose McDuffys which is where a lot of the Ex Club wags hang out. Anyway, there was Regina, a stately woman, tall dark, big boned...I believe she was either Italian or Polish...still not sure which. But she had that ever so faint wisp of a mustache you might find on a olive skinned brunette.

Shortly thereafter, I ran into her again on a Friday night at the Moose. She was at the end of the long tables which are permanently conjoined for some odd reason and she had that come hither look about her. I had just ended a relationship with a flight attendant who decided to move to Florida. I gave her my best pick-up line I could come up with at the time...it was probably so stupid I can't even remember. Well it worked and we were off bar hopping.

We ended up at Eddie Piccards place at the top of the five in downtown Cedar Rapids. He serves up a fine jazz set with his Trio which consists of four musicians. But the real treat is the over-priced martinis at the joint. Sometime its just worth it. We danced and we drank martinis until it was time for the band to wrap it up.

On the way home we thought it would be fun to stop in at Bernie & Debs Condo...this is when they lived off of 42nd street because that is the neighborhood where Regina had her house. Well, the tinis must have been too much because we never did find Bernies Place and I just know Bernie would have had fun with Regina. She was such a flirt and that night she had on a very sexy outfit that would make a bulldog break its chain.

Actually, we barely were able to find Regina place, but after circling the same block 4 times, her place mysteriously materialized. I was just going to drop her off at the door since it was our first official date; but she insisted I come in for a final final!

Regina makes a great martini as well and that might have been the straw that broke the camels back because Mr Bruce was not moving very well and given the lateness of the hour it was prudent for me not to attempt to drive home.

I suggested that I could sleep on the sofa, but somehow we fell into her bed together. Soon clothes were flying every which way and Lucky Chucky did not let me down. I'll spare you all with the details but let it suffice that we were both drenched in perspiration and collapsed in each others arms.

The next morning I woke up in a strange sun-filled room. I did not know where I was and then noticed Regina beside me. On the nightstand was a picture of a striking studly guy. My heart sunk at the sight of the picture. I asked Regina if it was her brother. She advised she had no brother. I asked her if it was a boyfriend...she told me it was not a boyfriend. Fearfully, I asked if it was her husband and she replied that she had never been married. Curiosity got the best of me and I insisted that she tell me who it was. Her reply was that it was a picture of her before the operation. Goodgrief! Just my luck to pick a transsexual ! I only dated her 4 or 5 more times before I dropped her. Enough is enough.