Moose Rites

Right before a major holiday like Thanksgiving, frequently the Ex club guys and Ex club wannabes might be found all gathered around the conjoined tables at the Moose to settle a last minute world crisis or talk about a sporting event which already occurred. Favorite topics are deaths in the news or news about some grave illness which has plagued someone we know. Most often the discussion leads to religion or politics.


In the old days the subject matter might have been the opposite gender....if you know what I mean.

This particular evening it was about the pizza baron's doctor visit that afternoon. Gary was celebrating the good news with his trademark Funnie. Mary was all smiles, knowing that her sex life would not come to a screeching halt and the rest of them could care less. It was only natural that the discussion shifted to politicians.

To the people outside of the state of Iowa and in foreign countries who follow my blog, you may not realize how equally divided the state is. However, amongst our group, it is way lopsided and we occasionally have to import a democrat to give their view.

We do have a token Liberal, Naked Gun, but he spends his winters in Key West fantasying about Festivals and trying to control the chicken population. Naked Gun has won the agitator award many times. In his absence the Gentleman Farmer, Donnie A and the retired Advertising Executive, Tommy W. will fill in for him.

The Hopper usually leads the charge on the conservative view. The Hopper is a mild mannered, low keyed, laid back gentleman who has hot glued his caps lock key in the upper position. A memo from The Hopper LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS. The Hopper drives a Ford Expedition with the Gas Guzzler Tax declarationn proudly displayed next to his Boston Red Sox decal and his Mitt2008 placard. The Hopper was a runner up in the Sexiest Red Sox Fan competition for Peoples Magazine. Click here for more information. He has the "I donated to the Police Dept Fund Drive" strategically placed on the drivers side window where a cop would surely see it in the event he was pulled over for a traffic infraction. The Hopper was in premed for a short time and now works for a local doctor, who shall remain nameless.


This particular evening, the table adjacent to the 'fountain of knowledge' was occupied by group of chicks who were celebrating a birthday. They were hitting on to the Ex Club guys, but the discussion had already escalated.


They could come back for Ladies Night, but the sign in the men's room(how many ladies are going to see it there) indicated it had been canceled due to the impending holiday.













[Bloogers Note this post would have published in a timely manner, but I was flat on my back for the past 36 hours fighting a nasty bug]