Not too long ago, I decided to shake things up a bit. Billy says I ought to have my name in lights. Billy like the fact that I am on his side when it comes to keeping him alive. Needless to say, I am his hero. I am his favorite insurance guy.
So Billy suggested I do something to make a statement. We represent Allied , a Nationwide Company and they are known for their "on Your Side" tagline. You may have seen their employees on television explaining how they were on your side.
I thought it would be fun to be on my side. My first concept idea was to have me laying on the office floor with a tipped over chair at my side. Billy saw it a little different and suggested I do the Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan pose. Well since I am the cosmopolitan type, it was a natural...well as natural as you can be with clothes on.
Well here, submitted for your approval or disapproval...hey I can take it.....is the board. The billboard can be sighted on Highway 151 near Fairfax Iowa.
All you locals get used to it because I signed a year contract. After the year is up, I get the artwork. Billy thinks if should go somewhere cool. Any ideas?
Billy's beloved Buckeyes were playing in Iowa city last Saturday and Billy really wanted to go. He also read in the paper( with the help of two mirrors) that the Buckeyes were favored and it would be a cake walk. Billy also likes the Amana Oktoberfest. Since I was going to be his keeper and I remember the last time I schlept him up 77 steps, and in view of the weather report, I talked him into the Oktoberfest option. We towed the lung behind the Smartcar ( he loves that stuff) but He was the first to admit it was a little chilly going around the Lily Lake.
Billy likes to catch up with the Lemon Sisters and generally likes the UMP UMP music that envelopes the town. He likes to watch the Eisenmann contest and he wishes he could compete. Of course, everyone likes a parade and Billy is no exception to this either.
"Aunt" Audrey was going to do a stint at bar tending at the Ronneburg after the parade and he was excited to see that. He is easily excited.
Right after the parade we caught up with Audrey and watched her work her magic. It is said you meet the nicest people at places like the Cadillac dealership, Walmart and bars. This couldn't have been more correct as we were introduced to Libby and Wayne and there friends Connie and Craig. Billy took a shining to Libby immediately.... Maybe it was the accessories or here hat which was very alluring. Or maybe it was the underwear....only Billy knows because there are some things he just doesn't open up about.
His landlady stayed for awhile and then she had to go to the park on another mission and that left us in the custody of his buddy Wally.
It was Wally who suggested we have shots of Ashbach and the able bar tenders were eager to oblige.
After the shots it was off to the Eisenmann contest and we were also treated to a great ventroloquist act. I swear I could not see his lips move one iota.
Those of you who follow this blog know there has been a void in the adventures of Billy and his plight. The unfortunate boy has had his share of misfortune during his life. For the past few months he has been in a coma and out of respect to the family, I have not written anything about Billy.
Now I am happy to be able to tell you all that Billy has returned from the darkness of his coma and once again is able to participate in brief trips away from his one story walk-up.
Recently, he went on his high school class trip which had a surprise ending. The trip was educational and lots of his fellow classmates were able to go along. There would have been a few others, but his Uncle Alferd was celebrating his 75th birthday the same day! Hicksville High has a reputation for exceptional class trips. This one was no exception. A good time was has by all.
The surprise ending for Billy was his High School diploma awarded to him that evening. This was something he had always wished for but he had resigned himself to the notion that that day would never come. Needless to say there wasn't a dry eye in the crowd.
Here you have the contest video we uploaded to the MY Space KFC contest. However, the upload to the Contest website was only partially successful. The video is there but no Audio. I am bummed. its probably the winning entry...but it doesn't play right. Billy is way bummed because he like KFC food the best.
We start the beginning of summer by removing the winter cover from the backyard pool. Its always a joyous event unless you remove the cover to expose the stagnant water and it is as dark as a cup of java. Thank God we had some milk left over. After a few days of vacuuming the pool without being able to see the bottom, we dump in 8 gallons of liquid chlorine and decide to head to Dr. O's for one of their signature barbecues. We are picked up my Billy's landlords in their shiny new Pissat and Billy is left behind. ( The PenTac mover could have accommodated the lung but I think Billy would have gotten car sick.) But I digress.
Billy's landlord has been labeled at Wally the Weaver by my second wife and the DOT went to a lot of expense installing warning strips along Hiway 151 so that he can make it home safely. Click this link in the Urban Dictionary.
With Wally at the wheel we do make it to the O Ranch inspite of a few outbursts from the back seat navigators. ( Evidently they were not aware that my BlackBerry had a Garmin Nav application which directed us to the front door.
We were met in the drive way by the lanky head of the household, Craig...a tall Swede whose long arms allow him to build storage high in the garage. He actually has to special order all of his shirts because the stores in Iowa don't stock his size. He says the stores in Minnesota are a better option due to their Nordic population. You would think that he would use those long arms to help his wife dig out the Grey Goose so that we could satisfy our thirsts. But no.......... the height challenged lady is required to precariously climb a chair and with the help of a wire coat hanger, retrieve the "see through" beverage along with the single malt scotch which would be needed for after dinner sipping with our cigars. You see the reason we were invited to dinner in the first place is because we were the intermediaries in the recent purchase of their Winnnebago Motorhome. You could say we were there for the Fore Play so it was only natural that we should be there for the consummation of the deal. You see the Dr. and her husband have carefully calculated the the remaining time left on this earth and plan to spend their last dollar on the day they will enter the state supported (Thanks to Obama) retirement home. Could an MGB be far behind?
Their barbecues are a smorgasbord of entrees which would put most restaurants to shame. After a tour of Dr. O's walkin closet ( actually a requirement if you want to find the loo) the after dinner conversation turned to solving lots of problems.
We were also treated to a great impersonation of a signature walk that went so fast my camera was not able to record. Actually confidentiality requirements forbid me to disclose anything else. As always, the 8 passenger hottub was a welcome close to an enchanted evening. Again my camera was confiscated at the the entrance to their deck...so use your imagination here.
This could be the next big hit. Read press release below:
Iowa Financed/Iowa Made film "16 to Life" breaks festival records at MethodFest in Los Angeles Emmy nominated director, Okoboji, Iowa born Becky Smith's first feature film "16 to Life" broke festival attendance records at MethodFest in Los Angeles last weekend. Financed in Iowa, Filmed in Iowa, includes sultry screen legend Theresa Russell.
Iowa financed, Iowa filmed "16 to Life"
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE PRLog (Press Release) – Mar 31, 2009 – Emmy nominated director and Okoboji, Iowa native, Becky Smith's first feature film "16 to Life" broke festival attendance records at MethodFest Film Festival in Los Angeles last weekend. Financed in Iowa, filmed entirely on location in Iowa, and loaded with both Hollywood and Iowa actors, including sultry screen legend, Iowa born Theresa Russell, teen actors Hallee Hirsh, Mandy Musgrave and Shiloh Fernandez, and "Nash Bridges" veteran, Jaime Gomez, plus Iowa actors Ryan Gourley, Brendan Dunphy, Steward Hayden Butler and Rachel Salowitz, the romantic comedy was the buzz of the festival.
"16 to Life" was shot entirely on location in beautiful McGregor, Marquette and Stone City, Iowa. Film writer/director Becky Smith worked closely with the Iowa Film Office to find financing and production crew locally. "Tom Wheeler at the Iowa Film Office was a big reason this film got made," Smith says. "He was passionate about the project, and passionate about making an Iowa production possible." Executive Producer, Terry Trimpe is from Eastern Iowa, and worked with Smith from the start of the project.
Smith grew up in Okoboji, and attended film school at Stanford University in California. She has directed series and pilots for NBC, ABC Family, PBS, BRAVO, and numerous other networks, and was nominated for an Emmy for "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" in 2005. Her girls' basketball documentary "In The Game" premiered nationally on PBS FRONTLINE and won the award for best television documentary by Women in Radio and Film.
Method Fest director, Don Franken said, "Method Fest's Saturday night premiere of Emmy nominated writer/director Becky Smith's romantic comedy "16 to Life" had an ecstatic audience and several not so ecstatic fans who couldn't get in to see the film. Theater management was sighted grinning from ear to ear.
"We had to turn over 50 people away for our sold-out screening of "16 to Life" on Saturday. We could have sold 100 more tickets for the film. So much energy. The buzz screening of the festival thus far and the first "sold out" screening in MethodFest history," said Franken.
Writer/Director Becky Smith says, " 16 to Life" got the kind of reception you dream about as a filmmaker. "Possibly my best moment was when a young woman came up to me after the festival screening and said 'This is now my favorite movie!' "
A few distribution executives were spied in the back rows of the theatre, equally charmed as the rest of the audience.
"16 to Life" is a romantic comedy of small town misfits. Kate, a rural American teen, is turning 16 and has never been kissed. Kate is obsessed with books on eclectic subjects, currently the Cultural Revolution in China. Kate's angst about sexual inexperience and guilt will drive a comic quest for love and understanding on a birthday to end all birthdays. Before the clock strikes midnight, Kate and her best friend Darby will discover more about love than most 16 year-olds can imagine. And Kate will learn what a 16-year old American girl has in common with a 16-year-old Chinese girl half a world, and a cultural revolution away. Trailer and website: http://www.16tolifethemovie.org
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About Becky Smith and Waterdog Films - Waterdog Films is the production moniker of Emmy nominated writer/director Becky Smith. Smith was nominated in 2004 for an Emmy in directing (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy), the same year the show won an Emmy, and has directed numerous series and pilots for networks including MTV, MTV2, NBC, Fox, Disney Channel, PBS, Fuse and ABC Family. Her documentary onTitle IX, “In the Game,” received numerous awards, including Best Television Documentary of the Year from Women in Radio and Television.
Smith is a Professor in the UCLA School of Theatre, Film & Digital Media. She received her Masters degree in film from Stanford University.. She is an alumna of the American Film Institute's Directing
Colonel Sanders pulled from river after 24 years Statue taken from KFC by crazed Japanese baseball fans after 1985 win
A Colonel Sanders statue which was found in a river is pictured in Osaka, western Japan, on Tuesday night. The statue was pulled from the river, 24 years after being tossed in by crazed baseball fans.
TOKYO - He was covered in mud when pulled from the river, and had lost both legs and hands, not to mention his glasses. But Colonel Sanders still had his trademark smile, 24 years later.
A statue of the KFC mascot has been found in a river in Osaka, a city official said Wednesday, nearly a quarter century after being tossed in by crazed baseball fans who felt the image of restaurant founder Harland Sanders resembled a key team member.
"He was apparently found standing upright, which is fitting, because although he was a nice man he could also be very strict and demanding," said Sumeo Yokakawa, a spokeswoman at the chain's Tokyo headquarters. She said the statue was taken from a nearby KFC restaurant and tossed in the river as part of a celebration by baseball fans in 1985, the year Osaka's baseball team, the Hanshin Tigers, won the national championship.
Local fans thought the Colonel bore a resemblance to Randy Bass, a bearded power hitter and first baseman from the U.S. who played for the team at the time.
Colonel Sanders rises from watery grave March 11: Divers searching for World War II bombs in Japan discover a statue of the KFC icon.
Fans often jump into the murky river to celebrate the team's successes, but there has been little to celebrate in recent years. Many fans feel the team has been plagued by the "curse of Colonel Sanders" since his effigy was submerged in 1985.
It has failed to win a national championship since, although it did win its division in 2003.
The upper half of the statue was found Tuesday in Osaka's Dotonburi River during construction work to build a new walkway, according to city official Hideo Yuko. His legs and right hand were found Wednesday morning.
Colonel in police custody The colonel will be kept in police custody for the time being, but Yokakawa said KFC is considering donating him to the home stadium of the Tigers in Osaka. The store where he originally stood has since closed.
The KFC chain currently operates about 1,160 restaurants in Japan, and has about 1,000 Colonel Sanders statues in the country.
Osaka, Japan's second-largest city after Tokyo, is located about 260 miles (420 kilometers) west of the capital.
There appears to be at least one other bloke on this earth who is impersonating me.
Yesterday I was lounging around the pool doing a game of Cribbage with the Mystery Lady (15-2, 15-4, 15-6 ...you get the idea) when this chap comes up to me and says, "Has anyone told you you look like Clive Culling?" I responded with who is Clive Culling? Turns out he is some kinda author....another parallel. Go figure.
The Mystery Lady pipes up with, "Everyone says he looks like Colonel Sanders."
Anyway, I rushed to our villa and cranked up the old Dell and Googled the guy.
Even though it says on the blog that I have one "follower". Thank you Debra. There are a lot more of you out there. I know this because you have indicated to me that you check daily for new content. Its been awhile since I have posted something new about Billy.
I have received some phone calls concerned about his welfare. Some of you even thought he may have "passed". I am here to put that rumor to an end right now. Billy is alive but he is not well. You see he never has been well...but he is alive.
Just today I took him out for a sleigh ride. He wanted to go to the Amana Hills which the locals will remember is the quintessential location to go sledding. Billy needs to take with him the power pack and that adds considerably to the load. I'm 60 years old ( I know I don't look it) and I'm not up for lugging the lung to the top of the hill just to give him a push and do it all over again.
I grabbed my "zippfilmitz" and a pair of Snookie Sponar's old welding goggles and we were off to Billy's house. You can see a view of his house by clicking here. The Walkie Talkies had a full charge so communication would be intact between the pilot and the passenger. I still have about 30 feet of rope from my mom's old clothes line and we removed the wheels and legs of the lung ........presto ...instant luge. We tied it to the back for my Mercedes 4 Matic ( as you know the Hummer is gone) and we were off on our ride.
Billy thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon, even when we took the corner by the Ronneburg a little too fast and he "whipped" out into the lane of an oncomming car...hey it wasn't that close!
The lung really wasnt insulated that well and after about an hour Billy lamented that he was afraid the same thing would happen to him as what happended to my brass monkey and I knew it was time to get his home.
I'm sure when Billy warms up he will be bugging me to do it again. I'll just have to remember to take my camera next time.
This is my lame attempt at blogging and so far I have been able to add posts almost every day......will that continue?........time will tell.
If you scroll way to the bottom you will see "It's all about me" This blog is about me and my friends and my life. Most of it is true.
Some of it is tongue in cheek and some of it is outrageous.
Read the parts you like...if you find something offensive skip over it. If you have any comments, praises or criticisms, email or leave comments...I can take it. Mr. B
f two mirrors) that the Buckeyes were favored and it would be a cake walk. Billy also likes the Amana Oktoberfest. Since I was going to be his keeper and I remember the last time I schlept him up 77 steps, and in view of the weather report, I talked him into the Oktoberfest option. We towed the lung behind the Smartcar ( he loves that stuff) but He was the first to admit it was a little chilly going around the Lily Lake.
