Haircuts by Shellie

Amana has a new barber. She took over the space that Don the Barber rented for near on forty years. Don hung up his scissors and Shellie redecorated(the decor is a cross between art deco and Floyd's deco) and hung our her shingle. She likes to call it a salon...but what self respecting manly man would go to a salon for a haircut. Recently, Wally, Billy's landlord and Billy both had haircuts on the same day. Billy went first because when you 'do' Wally you 'do' him as the last appointment of the day because Wally demands that vodka be a part of the ritual. The landlady goes to the same premises only she goes to a salon.

We were just getting ready to take Billy up to the apartment after his haircut when we caught a glance of the notes in the appointment book and immediately we knew Wally was scheduled.

We decide to watch the action. I suspect this was to look good for Thanksgiving dinner...or was it for someone's birthday party?

The Landlady

Billy's landlady is Dixie. Dixie has a few obsessions. One is collecting things like depression glass. Another is the expanding of her indoor rain forest. It is rumored that she is planning a room addition, just for them. She is also a voracious mushroom hunter (in season). And she make frequent trips to Kent Park for no apparent reason (in all seasons).

We went over to visit with Wally and Dixie last evening for two reasons. One was to negotiate for a lower floor apartment and, of course, the other was because it was martini night. I'm not sure which was more fruitful.

When I brought up the subject of how nice it would be for Billy to be on the main floor, she feigned any knowledge of Billy's plight. In fact she said, "Who is Billy?"

Like I have said before, "You can't make this stuff up"

Billy's Residence

Billy lives in the building that used to be the high school that I attended. It has long since been converted to a four plex. Will it be long before it goes condo?

Its great that the Crippe family could find a place with reasonable rent when they moved here from Milwaukee but it really sucks that they are on the 2nd floor. My friend Wally is their landlord. They really couldn't ask for a better landlord. They have been living at the old school house building for the past 10 years and I don't believe he has ever raised the rent. He also comes out at all hours to do emergency repairs and has even done some jury-rigging on the lung.

Wally can do about anything mechanical. He even spent the better half of a Saturday recently cutting a hole in the header above the closet in Billy's room so a TV set could be installed for Billy to watch without the mirrors.

Wally belongs to the 'Tool of the Month' club at Mernard's. Every month he gets a new piece of equipment delivered to his door. His shop is so full of equipment and tools, he can barely turn around in it. But, when you need something, Wally has it. Wally is also VIP - Platinum Life member at Mernard's. This gives him valet parking at the store among other perks like special sales and free doors for life.

Wally's youngest son is Gormo and he is following in his dads footsteps. He can completely disassemble a Dodge Intrepid and put it back together again in one day and not have any parts left over. I can only hope that some of those Chrysler spare parts that he finds at various salvage yards can help out if necessary with the lung.

When the building was a schoolhouse, there was the local grocery store across the street and all the boys would gather behind the store building and burn fags during the lunch hour. Some of the more addicted ones even stopped behind the store before the school day started. At that time there was no warning on the side of the pack and no huge taxes. I guess we thought it was all right.

One time one of the upperclass guys took a Pall Mall unfiltered fag and stuck a cherry bomb on the end of it and carefully placed it on the study hall window ledge, having it timed so it would explode during the principals after lunch announcements. It worked beautifully...but our smoking/store privileges were suspended because of that. He would later flush a cherry bomb down the school toilet causing severe damage to the plumbing... God rest his soul!

If Amana Had a Mayor

Amana is a small unincorporated village in Eastern Iowa. The famous Amana Refrigerators and microwaves are built here. We are also famous for other things and you can get that information on the internet at amanacolonies.com.

Because we are unincorporated, we have no mayor. However, we have a citizen who would like that job. His name is Wally. Not the same Wally as Billy's landlord. Wally could be described as eccentric. He is a self titled philosopher...but maybe not a very good gardener.

Wally lives in a corner house he inherited from his mother and has probably not mowed the lawn or trimmed a tree branch since he moved in. To say that the lawn got away from him, might be an understatement.

Well , yesterday that all changed. At his request, many volunteers armed with chainsaws, wood chippers and the like went to the challenge. They cleared the place of vegetation and uprooted a motorhome in the back yard.

Wally has been asking $300,000 plus for his house...more if you want to buy the contents too and I see he has moved his for sale sign to the middle of the yard again. I'm not sure what he asking for the motorhome.

At least now you can see whats for sale. God Bless.